Birthday

Today is the day.
We must celebrate.
For you are a wonderful young man.

Today is the day.
We must rejoice.
For you have turned one year ahead.

Today is the day.
I must gather our friends.
For we will dance the night away until the world ends.

Today is the day.
You turned 17.
Much older than me, but a true friend indeed.

I want to thank you, for always being around.

I want to thank you, for picking me up from the ground.

I want to let you know I truly care.

And that I'll always be there.

So come with me along this journey, down to the road where everyone we know is on.

Let us fly together, and soar, knowing we will never forget, the precious memories.

Wall of Lies

The minute I saw you,
I got this wierd feeling.
Something I've never felt before
and it made me feel great.
You seemed perfect -
no flaws nor imperfections.
Yet, one day I discovered something new:
a impenetrable wall.
It made me wonder,
What's behind that wall?
I tried to go through many times,
but it never worked.
You were hiding something,
something dark and mysterious.
I was starting to get weak,
tired of trying to accomplish my goal.
But, I endured the pain,
and I kept trying.
BANG!!!
I broke that wall,
only to discover something I did not want to see.
So, now, I am in pain,
not only because I am hurt,
but because I found the real you:
someone who was careless and annoying.
I cried because you masked yourself and betrayed me,
with your wall of lies.

You Never Lied

Hey I'm being honest at least
I can't get over it
Can't get over the fact that you chose her over me
When I was loving you from the start
You picked a girl who just played with your heart
I look at the old emails
I remember the old conversations
I remember exactly when I cried and you never knew
I remember when I lied and said I'm happy for you
I'm happy that you found the girl for you
Even though I knew there was one that secretly died for you
It made me insane, jealous
And it made me wonder if there was anything wrong with me
Because I am imperfect
That's why I say that I am imperfect
Because I thought you saw something in me that you didn't like
That made you choose to be with her
I am imperfect
And I'm proud of my flaws
Because if it weren't for them
I wouldn't be me
Every night I'd go to bed angry, frustrated, and alone
Wondering where I went wrong
What I did
But I found out later I never did anything wrong
It was you
I never expected you to cause so much pain
But you just wanted to see if I was jealous
And you know what? Your experiment worked
I was jealous, so damn jealous and I hated you and her for it
Because I thought that you picked her because she was everything I'm not
Who said love was perfect?
It's imperfect, flawed, and is blind
So when I said that I thought you lied
It was when you chose her over me
I thought you lied when you said you liked me
I really did because you made it seem that way
The way you held her hand
The way you looked at her
I would look away
I wanted to run away but I had to prove to her that I didn't care
I had to prove to myself that I didn't care
Every night seemed like it would rain
When it rains it pours
Because every night I went to sleep knowing I wasn't yours
But like I said it's nothing
Though I won't let it go for nothing

So much for being myself?

The chains hold me down, making my wrists bleed from so many attempts of getting away.

Crying with anger I think of all my friends, feeling this is the last goodbye.

"I am sorry, I am so sorry..."

apologies that last forever echo among the walls.

All I ever cared about has disappeared, falling through my fingers.

I regret it all, why did I do it?

What did I do?

......

I couldn't stop crying....

so they left me behind, with my tears.

Because no one likes anyone who can't love themselves.

Walking away

Each step, sound, nosie you make
can my heart beat in lyrics of
music. When you stare at me
I feel a shiver running down
my spine which makes my eyes
wonder who you are. The eyes
of your look gives me dreams in
reality that I can never have.
Each second of the time passes
I look ahead wondering what is that
I am missing? Lost in my
thoughts your eyes makes me
do silly things that I can never
imagine of. Whats in the future
ahead of us? No words spoken
but actions speak for us when
you walk to me in a slow
motion. Every time I close my
eyes I realize the fear in me
as I turn around never
looking back. Time is present,
I am waiting nothing happening.
You make me wonder who I am?
Each word and hugs makes me
lost in fear, my heart lost in space
making my brain weak.

A Scarred Heart

Nothing more but a memory
A memory of something that I don't want to remember
But still a memory
Maybe it'll go away in time I once thought
But now I know it won't
It'll stay, it'll linger
It's like a scar on my skin
One of shame and regret
That no matter how hard you try and scratch it
It stays
Like a scar, it stays scarred on my heart and soul
Imprinted with permanent ink
A sad reminder
A painful reminder
That I couldn't have you
That I couldn't look at you anymore
I tried my best to ignore you
I tried my best to not talk to you
But you were always there
I wanted to stop this 'infatuation'
because all it did was cause me anger and frustration
No matter how many times I cried
It still stayed
Because it wasn't an infatuation
It was love.
A red thread had tied my fate to yours.
It can't be broken by any blade
If you wanted it to stop
If you wanted all of it to go away
Then tie your fate to another
I promise not to mind...I promise not to care at all
But I can't promise that I'll stop loving you.

My Butterfly Wings

I have been in a cage for years.
I am stuck in jail.
I have never done anything wrong.
I am innocent!
I die of boredom.
No one to talk to.
I am so alone.
All I need is a friend;
someone to make this all better.
No breathing space;
I suffocate every day.
No one understands my pain,
no one understands my loneliness.
If only...
if only I escape this terrible place,
if only I could be free,
if only I could spread my butterfly wings
and fly.
I could explore the wonders of the world.
I could show the world my beautiful colors and how unique I am.
I could finally be happy and content.
I could breath the fresh air and smell the sweet scent of the flowers.
I could be with my loved ones.
But for now,
I am stuck in this cage,
dreaming about the day I shall escape.....
and have my long-deserved freedom.