Jealousy

What is this?
I'm angry?
Why?
Now I see her hanging with us again...and I'm...feeling left out now..
We were being so close, and now it's like...you only used me to get HER angry...
It feels that way at least...and the fact she's suddenly so happy around us...
Yes you resolved the problem with her, but...what the..

I don't wanna say it, but I'm....
I'm......
I'm jealous?!

Oh my...I'm jealous...
Why?! this wasn't a prob before...
I....

Am I starting to wish you're attention was only on me?
why...

why?

if the way I'm acting is ruining our friendship...

then someone please, pull the trigger already.

A and W forever

It starts the day when I first meet you.
Deep inside my heart I wait the day
when you walk by me.
A feeling of fragance,
like a small
flower petals
flowing around us.
It felt like it was just
2 of us in another
strange world. My mind
is wondering
in so many
directions,
a small
mind of drama,
school, friends coming
and going. My eyes
cry for you only,
tears dropping each
second that i can't stop.

From the Top of My Head...

This is literally from the top of my head:...

As I stare out the track,
Deciding to jump or not
Always with a smile to
Not let others of the pain I suffered,
You come out of midair,
Pull me aside and...
Not let go off me until the danger has passed.
Even then, I fear I will lose control,
I will lose you,
Losing myself within you
Never gaining balance.

But with you by my side,
All my fear disappears,
As I realized, I
Have found my other half...
My yan of the yin
The Light withing all of my darkness
You are one of few that have shone lights
But the only one to keep the lights on
Unlike many others have tried in the past.
Feel as if you know myself better then I
As I try to figure out
Why you are with me,
Without ever realizing,
That you might be the one...
'Till now.

Hope for the best,
Expect the worst, is what
I taught myself in the trial of life,
But with you, I know i was wrong,
As I can now hope and expect
For the best of the outcomes in this
Naive life of mine.
At times I act too childish,
And at times I am with people
You dislike,...
But I can never
Ever explain...
That Phoenix... You are the one.
Without you, nothing else would matter.
Never forget my promise...
Anytime, Anything and Anywhere...
'Till the end of time,
Or my death...
Which I hope
Does not happen anytime soon
With you in my life.

peculiar world

I awaken,
laying upon purple leaves
Hearing melodies of mermaids
and stories of common birds.
I sit up,
looking around me.
Green trees,
black and blue roses,
a world different from earth.
a peculiar world
I pull my knees to my chest and hug them.
She kneels beside me and begins to
stroke my hair...
"Mother Nature", I whisper,
"Give me an explanation"
She stays silent, licking her lips,
then leaving her mouth open.
"This is your world", she said.
An abrupt answer.
Laying back down,
I listen to the melodies of the mermaids,
and the stories of common birds.
It's a peculiar world,
which I have created.

A Mystery? or Not

The lights of the world needs to shut off.
We need to hear the silence of the world,
to hear the clarity come through you
to listen to the world around us.
Something that can hardly be found.
It'll make you feel so alive.
To give you purpose in single breathe.
To give you meaning in a single word.
It'll never stop.
Its deeper than the ocean.
It gets you and pierces you so thoroughly yet,
you'll continue to move on and on and on and on.

It will give you the power,
no the strength and confidence,
It'll give you everything you ever needed to move on.
Its in all of us we just need to search the world to find it.
In the end when we do find it,
We come to realize its in others

Maybe the completion we longed for.
Maybe the safety.
Maybe the control.
Maybe the love.

This power can we ever find it?
Does it seem so unrealistic?

What to do

I sit here and think
What do I do?
I think of my choices,
of when I met you.
I think of the feelings,
that are beginning to emerge.
Am I just in this for fun,
or in this to get hurt?
How can salvage myself
from this annoying confusion?
How can I choose,
when I can't even know what to choose?
What to do, what to do...

What to do...what to do...

I think...

I have to stick with you.

My heart

Walking each step we see each other
I tried so hard not to look at you.
The image of your face brings my
face into tears wondering who you are
to me? I used to love you for than anything
in the world, I used to think you are different.
But I was wrong this is the start of something new
i don't even look at you, my heart can't beat for
you anymore. It dosen't matter what you think of me
I give up on my heart its like a broken piece of each
glass that is shattered into the floor. I am the flower
just waiting for you to let me on your vase. For now,
I hate you, hate is such a strong word when you fall in
love. But what do you noe?

Each step I hear from your footsteps my heart stops
for a second the way you look at me it sets me running
from you. I wonder whats going with us? No words,
just spoken quite. My mind is washing memories away
from you.