Keep the faith

Keep in Faith

Bark! Bark! Bark coming from outside across the street. My heart felts like a shaking earthquake that is about to tremble into million pieces of a small plate. Living in a small neighborhood filled with flowers, people with different cultures that always seem to curious me. One thing I like about living in my neighborhood is everything I need in any time of the day; the stores are open 24 hours a day. My guess it is kind of living like New York City, where day and night people are walking in the streets, going to work, school, hang outs with friends. Crazy People yelling at customers for more money. But besides the barking of the dogs, in my mind it is calm and quite like a flute is about to play soft music.

Besides that, I pretty have drama of myself in my small apartment who I share with my family. Mitul, who is 27 years old and married, still lives with us some days of the week, his wife lives in our homeland country which is Bangladesh and basically his aim is to finish college as soon as possible and get his wife here who he applied for a visa, but unfortunately no progress is happening. Mishu, my other brother who I call retarded has brain damaged ever since the age of 12. Whenever he doesn’t get food he tries to hit someone but for some strange reason if he sees food he goes quite. Other than those 2, allow me to present my mom whose is age I am not allowed to say, she is a short lady has strong strength than my stepfather and she teaches special kids like my brother Mishu and helps them to learn. Besides all that she is clean freak, as soon as she sees something spill with her big voice she couldn’t stop speaking, which is really annoying. Okay the next person is my stepfather who my mom married again when I was 5 years old; I don’t know she married him in the first place. He has anger problems and comes home every night looking like a drunken person although he promised my mother he wouldn’t be drinking again. I can’t stand him; in my definition he is fucking bastard and a bitch. Me, everyone calls me priya but my mom calls me flower. I am 13 years old turning 14 really soon is in the eight grade. My brothers say I am not like other girls who sees a hot guy drops everything and acts slutty. Me I don’t care about boys, I care about my life and me doing the best in life.

Eight grades are pretty much horrible other than the fact I am older than everyone else about 1 year and half. The talk of middle school makes my stomach turn, I felt like screaming inside the pillow. I am in an AVID class which stands for a college program kind of like a second class of honor. Now you are probably thinking how do I get along with middle school? Inside my brain I think of someone I hate, and say bad things about them. For example Hope, who is my ex friend and people say she just uses me for my smartness. Sometimes when I do her HW I gave in the wrong answers in or I just say I have no time for it. To me she is a girly girl who cares about her only and no one else, my mom also can’t stand her and nicknames it every time she sees her. Her best friends are Laura and Jessica, well Jessica is okay except for that fact she got kick out our school for ditching classes with her boyfriends. Laura who is a slut and lays for everything to every person I can think of. I don’t know I am friends with her but sometimes maybe for all that she is good listener and can cheer up a person.

My class who every teacher has says such an angel; to me it is like hell or being the devil for once. I hate every one of them, can’t stand them. I am still counting the days when I am done with middle school and move on into a new life into high school. I remembered 3 months ago when I was taking the specialized high test, this is my faith to the get away. It was always my dream to go to Bronx Science or Hunter high school.

I wanted go to London and live with my uncle. Man he is so lucky, having the time of his life as soon as he done with college. My mother who calls me the girl who just thinks too much, basically saying I am not brave like I was. Me I think I am a hamster who is still rolling in a cage and wondering “when will I get out”. By looking at mirror, I have straight hair with big eyes that are popping out like a popcorn. As a youngest child sometimes I act like the baby just for fun and well for fun I love go swimming at the community pool, which calms me down like a baby is about to sleep. One of the reasons I am a sport freak, according to my brothers theories that if you don’t like sports you are not a real human being. My height is 5’2 which is pretty average for a girl, I have small feet like a tiny elephant the size about 5, fingers that are perfect to fit in a glove. My eyes look like the color of a dark green covered with glasses.

Living in a small neighborhood sounds cozy but as you know strange things happen in life that some people don’t understand. No Knows, may it is for a lesson to be learned or a good luck, bad luck, sometimes things happen for a reason.

Friend or Enemy?

He acts nice at times,

but mean at another.

He was a good friend,

someone I could call brother.

Gave me my first kiss,

Made me smile inside,

But at the same time...

He has made me cry.

Cursed me, called me names.

I can not take the pain.

Those words truely hurt..

Did he think of my feelings first?

I now know that this friendship's a lie.

Made me wish I could die.

In the end it's not worth being kind,

to the boy who has two sides.

Wants to impress his "friends",

Be a jerk and a friend,

But he does not comprehend,

That his words do offend.

So I cry in my bed,

As the thinking hurts my head...

Of the enemy and friend.

Fairness in Life

Life is not fair and we all know that for a fact. We never get everything that we want, no matter how hard we try to achieve it. Like, for example, you might want a new cellphone mainly because your current cellphone is 3 years old and even if all your grades are A's, you won't get that new cellphone you've been wanting. Why? That's because your parents want a new house and they have to care take of my other two siblings. So, you see? Not very fair, right??

Sometimes, you get mad when something unfair happens. Like when you get blamed for something even though you are totally innocent or when you get betrayed by your best friend.

And even though you tell yourself that it could be worse, you always at the fact that life is not fair. You always tell yourself that life sucks. When you find one speck of goodness, something bad comes your way. You try to avoid it , but of course, life is not fair!

you and i (just thoughts)

i dont understand what i have done wrong 

can you explain to me what i did wrong to deserve this 

i gave you a piece of my heart and i get nothing.

shall i try my whole heart?

i lost a piece of me with you and 

those days are long gone

i no longer feel anything

no longer feel the pain that i suffered because of you.

i am on my own right now.

all i need is some company.

some friendship i guess.

i wish we can one day walk hand in hand.

i hope one day we can smile together again

pushing away society's ideas.

but would such a world exist?

i just wish that i can be with you.

to look into that hazel flame i see

and gaze at it until the stars circle around us.

i see nothing left in this world but you.

i cannot help but to notice you.

and know i realize that i know one thing.

that one thing is

that i love you.

that is all i can offer to you,

my love,

and i hope that is enough for you.

i dont get this world, or anything else,

but what i want to get to know more

is you.

A love forever

Imagine he holds your hand and you feel the warmth within.

What are you to do then, but be happy and overjoyed.

As he leans in, your heart races and you close your eyes and wait.

You both hold onto eachother like you can never let go.

What do you call this?

Love.

That is what everyone calls it.

Love...

such a beautiful word isn't it.

Just saying it makes others smile.

And makes little girls dream.

And little boys wonder.

Is there such thing as a love forever?

Perhaps there is!

Just have to believe right?

Love...

A love forever...

A dream we have yet to dream,

a wish we have yet to come true,

a belief we have yet to prove true.

A love forever...

Singing in the air, flowing in the wind.

It's that warm feeling she gets when he holds her hand,

and leans in closely.

That feeling, the one everyone calls love..

That love forever...

the one we barely see,

the one most think don't exist.

It's there, its glowing,

and it's alive.

Love at First Sight

I see the silhouette of a wonderful figure,
Standing in the shadow,
So quiet,
So content.
I see eyes,
beautiful, turquoise eyes.
What is it doing there?
It's staring at me.
It's like it can read my mind, my thoughts.
Does it want anything from me?
The figure stepped out,
into the light
He's like someone from a dream,
like something too good to be true.
Bronze hair,
tan skin,
dark red lips.
So tall,
so beautiful,
so mysterious.

imperfectionist

Perfectionism

Humans are perfectionist.

We all have flaws

When you get to know a person you become friendswhen you get to know a person you will get to know about their lifestyle, their beliefs and there struggle.

A friend is someone who helps fix a person, improve their lifestyle, and learn about their beliefs.Hold their hand, sing them a song, and be there to help fix problems.

So not only is your friend better person you are stronger, better, and more tenacious as a person.
Humans are in imperfectionists.

Having friends, family, and people that care about you brings the idea of perfectionism CLOSER

Lovers are Fools

She's too afraid to even try
She's too afraid to even say hi
He'd walk this way and she'd walk the other
She kept her distance and it was such a bother

Keeping every emotion locked up inside
She'd look at him and each time she sighed
would scream inside,

"Why is it so hard to say that I love you?
Why is it so hard to say that I need you?"

But that's not the way that love goes
In this crazy world, everything goes

It wasn't fair to love him far away
Especially when she saw him almost everyday
But she could not cry because of too much pride.

Can you believe that love can be poisonous?
And a simple taste could be contagious?
Will he understand her words unspoken?
He didn't understand and she died choking.

It's not fair to love another far away
But it's too hard because you're too afraid.

Stress

So much to do.
Not enough time to do it.
We "over-plan".
We're too busy.
One minute, we're doing this.
The other, we're doing that.
No time for fun.
So many issues.
Not enough time to solve them.
It all builds up inside of us.
And what happens?
We stress.

Well, I say,
sit down.
Take a minute.
Take a few deep breaths.
Don't worry.
Have some fun.
Make some time for yourself.
Enjoy life while you can.
Because what happens if we don't?
We're sad,
and we stress.

High

Pressure is here,

my heart beats up each second as walking in the wide hallways

that can confuse you. But I feel so scared about my new teachers, grades that I will earned

in the marking period. My new friends cheering me up that "to take it easy" and making me

laugh all the time. I love them for that. As someone says grade or Homework, my brain gets

mashed into pieces. I can't take it anything and brain is getting a headache. One thing that

always kept me calm is listening to music and someone very special told me that "laughter is

best medicine." I know that my effort counts the best, I want to be the star that shoots the

moon. But can i do it? Time is going too fast and I can't kept up. Scared, the word that

brings me down. So I say go for it!

Upon Deaf Ears

Like ink upon fingers, it feels sticky yet unbound.

Tears fall down the cheeks of one I supposedly loved.

Lies fill their ears until they can no longer wish to hear them at all.

Pain fills my heart and I face the truth.

Bitten nails, scratched skin.

Feeling you are the only one suffering and seeing only your problems.

What are you to do?

Perhaps slowly die, or slowly suffer.

Words hurt more though.

And they fall upon deaf ears.

Who do you expect to listen?

If they can not even hear what you speak.

Their eyes watch you, their hands feel.

But they can not hear the precious voice within.

They do not hear the cries of pain or love...

They hear nothing.

And you as a fool...

stand there talking, as if the words would fall..

upon deaf ears...

a park.

there is this park in long island city i remember. I've only been there once, but its as clear as the the day i went there. it was a sunny Saturday, and my sister was taking the specialized test in LIC HS. a few blocks away there was this very peculiar park. one unlike any other. It was over looking the river, and i remember spending the whole day there. it was me, my brother, and my dad. we had no plans that day and just walked around.
Once inside, you can hear distant whistling. Immediately, i was mesmerized. i kept wondering where it was coming from, and decided to follow it. it was hard to follow as it was everywhere, not coming from a certain area as an instrument would.
up ahead, i saw a house. not an ordinary house, but a tilted one. it looked like it was dropped by a tornado, just as Dorothy's house was in The Wizard of Oz. i ran to it expecting to find red ruby slippers on a witch's rotting feet, but there was none. It was empty, with no rooms or doors. it was just a plain white house with a wood floors.
i stayed there for what seemed like hours until my brother and i got bored. Then it was there again. totally forgotten, was the faint sound of whistling. it wasn't like when a person whispers, but more like a constant, never-ending song calling to the unknown.
Following the noise again, i came upon a table. it was a grand table. Large, made of wood, and also, painted white. there were no seats, just this large, vast white table. it had this aura where people weren't allowed to sit on it, as it was practically a masterpiece.
As we moved on, the whistling became clearer. i could hear it as if it was right next tome,but we saw nothing.no sign of a musical instrument. But then further down, far away from the river was a field. a field of propelling spoons, standing tall. There were many spoons,connected together facing the wind. the whistling was as clear as ever. the spoons were making this noise. this beautiful song without words. it was powered by the wind and i remember standing there, doing nothing, but standing there, and staring at the spoons. it was the first time i was so shocked by something so familiar in my life making an unfamiliar song.
it reminded me that things aren't what you expect. they can be normal on the inside, but they also have a hidden secret.
it was a perfect day with my family,and it will always be with me, but another visit to that park wont wash away the feeling i had when i first saw those magnificent spoons.

The Tiny Soul

(dedicated to my baby sister, Natalia)

Look at that little one,
crawling around.
In two seconds,
she's nowhere to be found.

So cute and chubby,
no one can resist.
And her smile,
those two small teeth can't be missed.

So adorable,
her eyes gleam with joy.
And that pretty laugh,
when playing with her toy.

When she walks into a room,
all eyes turn to her.
Then she claps with her small hands,
and the crowd loves her.

The way she talks,
like an angel with poise,
but sometimes she turns into her mischievous self,
and that voice turns into noise.

Of course, she's little
and must be watched with care,
but it's the love and joy that
the tiny soul shares.

Life

The World is changing as we know it, what friends you thought you had are gone. Be grateful for not suffering like people in Africa. Girls selling their bodies for money and nobody will help. Be a true friend and actually care because that girl sits up with just a thoughtless stare.Her mom is dead and her father too. She cares after her brothers and sisters, do you ? Think about the world today, think about whats happening. We could all make changes but we chose not to. Are we cooperating or being stubborn. Life as we know it could end next year, but we just go on without a care. People say they love life yet they still pollute, they still kill other people, they still commit crimes that can cause people to suffer. So what do we really want? If were not willing to live life then why do we?

A song

angel wings cover my body’s blood that drips to the floor.

The bones are now showing, on the mirror of my broken door.

Tell me did you really love me?

I’m starting to think not.

Did you even want me?

An unbelievable continuos rot.

This disease you gave me has spread like rust. You can’t stop my wings and broken bones from turning into dust. As I lay here and cry of the pain you put me through. A famine has killed my soul, and I can not forget you.

my heart is aching can't you see i'm in enough pain?

sadly the tears don't mean a thing

a dead girl and broken hearts are all you'll ever gain

you left me alone sitting in this rain..

This disease you gave me has spread like rust. You can’t stop my wings and broken bones from turning into dust. As I lay here and cry of the pain you put me through. A famine has killed my soul, and I can not forget you...

you fabricate your life..

and use it as a heart break after that

to believe you, to believe you're still alive

all i can do is cry and watch you, and to believe in that.

to believe that even though i thought i loved you..

you killed me...and along with me, my soul died too...

TRUE FRIENDS OR NOT BY AFIA ISLAM

The first day of school you are just dieing to find out to make a new friend or you just nervous about the first day of school? A 15 year old girl who is a freshmen starting hunter feels scared just by getting lost in the wide hallways, but gets relieved that she made friends. But things change and people changes. Laughing with your friends but a new friend shows up. You feel outcast and already they are planning hang outs, making plans to go to the movies with their boyfriends. You try not to get jealous but your body feels angry, like a volcano. But then they dicth you, not waiting for you, don't care at all. Just making lies hoping to make you feel better. Riding on the train, you are like 3 seats away from them, they pretend not to notice. Tears and cries coming out from your eyes and finally your stop comes, they look at you and you gave them your angry stare. You just don't care and get out of train, feeling relieved. Each day as you come to school you finally decided that forget about it, don't talk to them. Hoping that will teach them a lesson.

But then you knew that is true inside your heart. A true friend is always there for each other and they don't outcast you from others. They grab your hand and lead you to get invlove, always telling scerets toward each other and other people too. I rembered when I was on the train, one my friends told me that " true friend would tell and would not care snit." Is that true???
I don't know but I know friends come and go.

I HATE LIFE BY AFIA ISLAM

As growing up each day, there is a voice in my mind that is screaming and wants to get out
each how. Each time, second of my heart shivers like a cold wind that is blown from a person who is dieing out. Seeing my father's blood in the bus and seeing my life fall into pieces like a plate that is broken into thousands of peices. Starting high school thinking your new friends would always include you but like a planning to the movies but outcast me that wants to me jump out the window. When they find out that you are uspet they make a lie "like I am sorry or "totally forget about you. But the true is they just use, they talk to person from another and drops you like a ice cream is melting into the sun. Then you fight, then make up but the real reason they want you to get lost. Getting a true friend is hard but the little girl always has her teachers to cheer her up. Who cares about being a teacher's pet is the thought they care to listen to your problems. The pain memories can't get away, your own mother who hates you and hitting you with a stick, just of fighting back. No one knows who you are and everyday you walking, running late to school like a afraid child who wants go to home but can't. Getting outcast and putting on a fake smilie to your friends, who are not really your friends. DO THINGS CHANGE? I like to find out, but how? Instead of the girl telling someone she is too busy writing stories hoping some day these stories will get publish and the world will know her pain sitting alone in the drama dark. People say life is challenge, I say life is life. Everywhere you go the same drama repeats again. (Boys, crushes, girls, dates, hang-outs) "Oh my god check out the hot boy""Do you think he likes me?" THE SAME THING! The girl is getting tired out and wants to go

another world where there is no drama. That girl just a 15 year old who is .......................

- not telling, you people are smart enought to guess out

Runaway (Under A Sky Of Dust)

Graffiti decorations,
Under a sky of dust.
Overwhelming waves of tension,
On top of broken trust.
All the lessons that you taught me,
I learned were never true.
Now I find myself in question,
They point the finger at me again:
Guilty be association,
You point the finger at me again.

I want to run away,
And never say goodbye.
I want to know the truth,
Instead of wondering why.
I want to know the answers,
No more lies.
I want to be redeemed,
And open up my mind.

Paper bags and angry voices,
Under a sky of dust.
These constant waves of tension,
Have more than filled me up.
All the lessons that you taught me,
I learned were never true.
Now I find myself in question,
They point the finger at me again:
Guilty be association,
You point the finger at me again.

I want to run away,
And never say goodbye.
I want to know the truth,
Instead of wondering why.
I want to know the answers,
No more lies.
I want to be redeemed,
And open up my mind.

LIFE SUCKS

Your life flashes before you,

as my heart beats each second, time going fast each second like a earthquake is about to hit earth.

The 15 year old girl who feels lost and wounded out of no way, starting a new school

facing new people, and wants a fresh start, but seeing in the sidewalk your past, each face that

hunts you down and feel like getting down in one knee. The age of 2, lost her father the only

person who loved her but that get her mother getting married again. Destorying her future and

a life she wanted to have. Thinking about the past memories as going to bed, middle school,

living hell. Seeeing kids covering their nose with fingers and sweaters going over their head

saying that girl stinks. But the true is her old friends betrayed her just because to open up to

them. Standing alone in the hallway seeing her blood rising from her beatings from her mom.

All she wants someone to love her and listen to her problems, slove the pain some how. She

wants a loving parents who would care for her, but now sitting alone in a desk in the back of the

room. Seeing her own face out the window that shows no face of tears, blood all over the face and
tries cover until it is too late. But walking to home a police officer sees what is wrong and

suddenly she brokes up and tells the policemen everything. At last a dream comes true, he helps
her out and listens to her problems. She wants to go home and go to a warm bed filled with joy

and happiness.

Thousands things happened to a child everyday. Do something about it and don't be scared,

always rembered that Laughter can cheer you up. There is always someone who can help you.

Forget the past and move into the future, A future is a new change. Forget people who have

useless life and do your thing.

LIFE SUCKS

You see your world is turing around before you can open your face

My heart beats each second and it feels like it has no oxygen left, starting a new schoool, a fresh

start that you want to forget your past but everywhere you go you can't escape it, each walk,

each people of a face that you see in the sidewalk. 15 year old girl who feels like running away

from home and wants someone who can just listen to her problems and help slove it. Save the

pain, the tears, words you want to regrent saying to somone you love. Your crush standing there

making out with his girlfriend and you just want to die on a bus or a car, pray to god that you

just want to die and jump up on the empire state building. But I have no one and no one to go to,

who can help me. As the age of 2, my father had died that left my own mother getting married

again and destorying my own life, my future. Middle school was just horrible, everyone holding

their nose and covering their mouth with a tissue or their hand just to think that girl stinks and

dosen't take a shower. Maybe it is just that her friends who betrayed her just because she

opened up to them. Standing alone in a hallway and seeing everyone past thought me. But the

worst memory is seeing your own blood that comes out when your hand.

A Song For The Non-stop Tears...

angel wings cover my body’s blood that drips to the floor.

The bones are now showing, on the mirror of my broken door.

Tell me did you really love me?

I’m starting to think not.

Did you even want me?

An unbelievable continuos rot.

This disease you gave me has spread like rust. You can’t stop my wings and broken bones from turning into dust. As I lay here and cry of the pain you put me through. A famine has killed my soul, and I can not forget you.

my heart is aching can't you see i'm in enough pain?

sadly the tears don't mean a thing

a dead girl and broken hearts are all you'll ever gain

you left me alone sitting in this rain..

This disease you gave me has spread like rust. You can’t stop my wings and broken bones from turning into dust. As I lay here and cry of the pain you put me through. A famine has killed my soul, and I can not forget you...

you fabricate your life..

and use it as a heart break after that

to believe you, to believe you're still alive

all i can do is cry and watch you, and to believe in that.

to believe that even though i thought i loved you..

you killed me...and along with me, my soul died too...