A Step changes everything by afia islam

A Step changes everything
By Afia Islam


Early Memories from childhood

Time Read 5:00 A.M on the digital watch as the bleep of the sound was made. Mr. Ahmed pacing around the hospital room hearing screams of emotional which is making him throw up in the bathroom. The doctor makes out of the dark, silent room filled with an anonymous person or a ghost that is starting at you for the last 48 hours. He nods his bald head and makes a gesture of sign that the pain is over, relieved with a sigh goes inside the room. A baby shown that it was crying for hours opens its eyes slowly like walking on a mountain filled with rocks. But all the stress and worriless is all gone when Mr. Ahmed sees his baby girl smiling with innocent eyes wondering who is this person? The room filled with flower blossoms letting the breeze takes it place. Holding the baby, he goes out the window saying “Welcome to the our world”. Stars shinning out in the beautiful night in Bangladesh, where people are enjoying it with their family and friends. Dhaka City is known the world as the city of mosques and muslin which attracts a lot of tourists. Lalbagh Fort, the famous fort where shows the bloody battles Bangladesh fought to gain their rights. All the smoke and firelights was making it hard for Mr.Ahmed to breathe thought his lungs. A disease he couldn’t tell his wife, but he felt his wife is finding out his secrets one by one. He knew a true muslin never to lie toward his family and elders. But he didn’t want anyone to worry about him and making a big deal that something could happen to him. He gulped in that statement, not where he was the holding his beautiful baby who was smiling at up with such tenderness.

The day the family took the baby girl home, it just stopped number of hours crying. Mr. Ahmed’s ears was still ringing from the wining and loudness that cause pain so much. He saw both of his sons, one of them was studying and another was doing nothing except for watching T.V. Both of their eyes turn slowly and gasp to look closer at the baby. Already they were distracted over a such a little thing that annoys a person’s brains out. His wife drop down the couch and sleeping that seems as nothing has happened. He told the baby slowly and carried to the nursery room which showed pictures of a garden that his family saw when they were on vacation. Eyes red went quickly to his bedroom and fall asleep like a baby. He didn’t notice that his wife was with him, erased everything and was in dreamland where there was peace.

Age 2 starts a shocking memory, a loss of worth you kept

The day when the little girl turned 2 right after 4 months, her own mother had no word to say to her. Not even a hi, just starting to someone’s eyes whose body is dead for ever. Tanzania, whose name was called to her when she was born, she would never forget the day when her own mother had stopped talking to her. No words, no expression, no hands gesture, no nothing. It was the day when a phone call changed everything, the phone was ringing and ringing, no one bother to pick it. Until her mother with a annoying sound picked up the phone and with a gasp, tears were facing down her face. She grab a photo of her father and smashed it against her hand until blood was dripping down the wooden floor. Tanzania didn’t know what was going on until her grandma took her outside and saw her father laying on a mattress bed. He had his closed eyes and was wearing white clothes, even everyone else too. Besides her father she noticed her mom screaming and crying in tears like a sad puppy that she saw on T.V. Her two older brothers was crying too, from their faces they wished when will this to be over? She felt angry and suddenly rage of food she started crying too. After that day she never saw her father again, no one would tell her what happened until she got older. Things were changing as she got older, her mom got remarried again and her middle brother turned into a retarded boy which bought them to come to America. Time going fast like a water is trying to kill a person, which led to her death of her father. Tanzania was scared of one thing, water, a thing that destroyed her family.

Chapter 1
Life, family and middle school

14 old year old Tanzania starting her freshmen year in high school, she is almost 15 in 3 months which everyone know, at first she felt terrible lying to her friends but she was afraid if they find out the truth they spend bunch of rumors around the world. What kind of friends she have that her mom would say all the time. Tasha Rahman, who acts like a Drama Queen and wants to became actress when she gets older. But if you see her she is one of the shortest girl and never eats anyone which makes a thin little girl. And Melissa Yingsal who is a slut with the boys that lies around with her small mouth. Many people in our school say by looking at her eyes you can’t see anything. That’s me, all the information you hearing about I like to be referred as the great mind reader. Enough of all that and you want to know why I am friends with these people. You are about to find really soon. Am I right? So sit back have your popcorn ready and a box of tissues to cry for. Just kidding just have the food ready and the drinks.

It all started the first day of eight grade, when I was walking to school with Chelsea and we were both nervous about our new teachers. I am sure going to miss one of my favorite teachers Mr. Zak, although he his age was not getting any younger, but everyone loved him. He was always jolly and giving out sweet candy, everyday when the kids walked to our classroom with sad faces he would change it with his jokes that used to cheer us up. Walking each step to the courtyard where there was bunch of other eight graders standing and waiting for the new teachers. There was Tasha walking around with her best friend Danielle, who had no idea what she wants to be when she gets older. Sometimes I think that girl had no future, always hanging out with boys and having different kind of boyfriend each week, I mean Melissa may act like a slut at least she cares about school. Forget all that for now, here where I was standing all alone with no friends and didn’t bother to look around. I was wearing my new jeans that diamond stones all around and blouse had black and white strips all around. Covering my ears until everyone goes into silent.

Ms. Thompson who is the art teacher that some kids loved was my homeroom teacher, to tell you the truth she is alright. But she is bugging about everyone loves her class and they can’t get enough about her besides that she can be a big liar. If a student asks you for a art material you don’t have to lie about it just make a lame excuse if you really need it or short on the supplies. One thing I was little happy about having her she has a huge room that has a cold air during the summer times. You could always feel cozy and get away with stuff like fights, problems with other teachers. Most of time some of the students go to her and complain about teachers like Mr. Cat. Mr. Cat is something us kids can’t face him usually the boys, one thing I don’t get he is always nice to the boys even they cause trouble and mean to the girls. Is he gay that’s when we ask if see him standing in the hallway. In my opinion I don’t think other teachers like him maybe because has issues or his long hair that is sticking out front of their faces. Tasha had a bunch of kids together last year to fire him from the school, one thing he can be a big fat prevent. I felt bad for the guys, every time when we walk to his class we always make up a lame But eventually Mr. Salvatore, the assistant of our Yale academy had to tell Mr. Cat about it and boy I was not surprised he was pissed off at us. Mostly he was angry at Tasha since she was the one who made up the group. Our Middle School named Eleanor Roosevelt Junior High School, has 3 academies which is Yale Academy, the academy I am in and there is Harvard and Princeton. The most popular academy with sprits days is Princeton, then there is Yale, the nerd and know it all academy. Harvard is good with the sports team like soccer and fundraisers. Now you think I am a know it all because I am in Yale well I like to think I am just a normal person who loves being herself. Our principal Mr. Oliver Queen is a jolly man and loves to cheer people up, he reminds me of Mr. Zak. For 47 year old he loves kids and unmarried, his passion is music and once wrote a music piece that shown on National T.V. But I think he wants to us to be remind that “You have the ability and gifts to begin your future and it is your turn to change the world. Around the first floor he has pictures of books and quotes that filled the entire hallway.

3 things you want that can help to survive in middle school, don’t look at a person until the person is saying “What are you starting at?” Number 2 is just do your work and stay out of trouble from the deans. Mr. Camberio, a great soccer player and a soccer coach is also a dean of my Academy who has some anger problems. There was a kid named Mike, who loved to throw water bottles at people until Mr. Camberio find out that was the end of it. Number 3, is don’t let people use you or people will be starting to call you a chicken. Sitting on a uncomfortable chair afraid you might sit on a piece of gum, sweating like bullets and concentrating on what the teacher is saying.

The truth is you have to be yourself, and don’t let anyone boss you around. That’s what kind of happened to me, sooner or later you have to realize to live life to its fullest. Today was Monday, September 11, everyone was silence probably because it was the memory of 911, where people’s lives were at stake or the day was going slowly because we have math for 2 periods. We have Mr. Lewis for Math A regents, I used to think he is a alien that come from space because he was pressuring us too much. How I am supposed to do 3 packs of hw sheets which had line of algebra all over? I discovered he is professor at some college probably that’s why his rules and grading scores are strict. He is always wearing a shirt and pant with a tie everyday, his music taste sounds cool and his stomach is always sticking out. But Mr. Lewis can do math like 2 seconds, just like that without any thinking. His jokes seems to inspire us to work more harder and each day he gives us a challenge what we know of. Math is okay, when you have math class for 2 periods on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays it can drive you crazy.

Then there was English one of my favorite subject, we had 2 teachers for that, so all the eight grade classes were divided into half based on their state scores. One teacher was named Mr. Cadet and other teacher was Ms. Alice I got Ms. Alice for English. Some of kids were not too excited to have Mr. Cadet because he is a strict grader. Ms. Alice was alright she is always taking to the popular kids and mostly hanging out with them. Basically she is always wearing jeans and a regular T-Shirt. Today she was wearing skinny jeans and a printed out T-shirt with words written girls are meant to rule. But Ms. Alice is always giving out fun projects which many people love about her. I had Mr. Cadet last year, he gives a lot of essays he is like the younger version of Mr. Lewis.

Mr. Hagos, our science teacher who is always anxious having the world to be peace and quite. He has nickname for the boys in our class which is knuckleheads, he is pretty funny but he thinks evil. I am serious if we behave bad he will probably give us extra hw or complain to our homeroom teacher. Sometimes I felt bad for him because has to teach 2 grades so basically he is all over the place which explains why his room is a big mess. Our social studies Ms. Peckman gives out a lot of writing so by the time I go to gym class my fingers is frozen red and struck still as never moving. People were looking at me as I gone mental or crazy. I have to be honest eight grade is hell.

Besides regular school, I couldn’t relax any regular sleep because I had specialized high school classes on Saturdays for the big test which is one month away. When I was in the sixth grade I didn’t really care because I thought I would never get accept to this program. It was march, I was sitting on the couch and watching boring T.V until my stepfather gives me a letter in sealed envelope. I thought it was just stuff for summer reading homework but the letter says it was a acceptance to a specialized high school program. I was screaming from top of my lungs until my mom came running out wondering what is the hell wrong with me? I stand up and jumping up and down until my mom pull me down, was reading the letter.

That was a great memory but no one bother to say good job, not even my own mother. After 20 seconds of laughter I went to my room and was crying like a big crybaby with no dinner. As` growing up my mother didn’t came to my 5 grade graduation and or any of my parent teacher conference. She was too busy with her job and her own life. I always wanted to say something but no urge to say it. It was like in that movie home alone, the little boy was home alone and the rest of the family forget about him and went on to Christmas vacation. I am like the little boy except I am not home alone, no one cares about him and I have to earn it myself. That’s me almost 15 year old girl who is almost to high school is scared about to talk back to her mother. I am like a slave except not getting wiped all the time. I had no one not even a real friend to talk about my problems. I sometimes tell Tasha things, but she doesn’t care and she cares about being rich. One thing I will tell you I hate my life. I wish I was never born and never came to this world. Sometimes I think my mom had regret having me in her late 30s, yeah I wasn’t a planned baby.

Do you ever think that your parents adopted you? I think my mom lied to me and she adopted me, when I asked her she turns into a angry volcano about to burst open and wash over me. I don’t how I spent 2 years in middle school with no one go to maybe except some of the teachers who gave some advice to me. But I couldn’t tell them about my personal life and what was happening to me. Last birthday I gave only some clothes and not even a cake to wish something for, instead I was looking at the stars to wish for. But I know it will never came true. As the saying goes on Life is unfair, I am starting to think life is meant happen to people who god doesn’t like.

People say middle school is supposed to change your future and your ways of your own future that is starting to build up. Well did it change my future into a drama and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. In my 5 grade graduation my principal said you can change your actions by doing something about it. But why? What can I do? For I know I am no nobody that can’t change the future. Maybe when I am old, I can do a favor being dead that can change my future. I am still trying to find the inner sprit that is inside my heart. One person who inspires me is my older brother, he grew strong and never giving up on himself. I wish I was like him finding myself out and trying to change the world. Or my cousin who is trying to became a doctor and wants to save people’s lives. That’s not me, every time I see blood I can fade out or scream like a baby. One of my strongest fears is swimming inside deep pool, I mean I can swim but at soon as I got inside the water my oxygen can’t let me breathe. Its like your lungs doesn’t want to be inside the water and fighting in a battle against oxygen. My whole body has no cells left and no urge to fight back. At first I thought it was gene thing or something, but more I think about it inside the water I see my father who trying to swim back.

You see my father, he died of asthma attack when he fell from the bus. One day he was going to working as typical time with the bus since his car broke down, suddenly he felt he was flying off the sky. But he noticed the bus which hit something that had a loud noise brought the bus into the water. My father had asthma like me; couldn’t breathe since his lungs had faded out and felt like he was sleeping. People call him by Mr. Ahmed, I felt he did the wrong thing by not telling my mother he had medical problems or he could be alive today.

I never knew my father, but my mom had written in her diaries that she meet him the first day of college. He looked as if he was scared of something, never seem to shave his mustache off and didn’t care what people thought. Soon as he say something he knows that can scary people off. In the pictures of him I see him laughing and enjoying the nature of life.

In my dreams I saw him carrying me and holding me in his shoulders like a baby. Sometimes life is never meant to happen as you think this how life ends. I always wondered what would life be like if he was still alive? Would we ever come to America and start a new life? Or we would stay back and continue with our lives? My mom who is a teacher but also a fortune teller, every dream she has or tell us that something bad, good is coming, it comes true. One time she had a dream that my brother was riding his bike, but since he wasn’t wearing a helmet his head gets hit by a teacher. That’s why my middle brother, he has brain damaged and gotten into a specialized kid student. His brain is like a low average like a 7 year old would think even thought he is actually 19 years old and supposed to be in college. But even thought he is stupid he is pain in the butt. My other brother who is the oldest is the nerd and engaged with his perfect girl, he just finish college with a business degree and masters. He lives in Woodside, with his friends who share the rent with him. Besides those all things he has serious anger problems, he gets mad over silly problems and for a shocking thing he is the cleanest person like my mom and me. I guess we get it from my mom, she wants everything to be clean and organized. That’s my mom right there, crazy and fortune teller, clean freak lady, can talk a lot. As soon as she opens her big mouth she never stops talking. My stepfather who acts to be cheap to everyone but can spend a lot money if someone buys something expensive to show off. He has a fat belly which why my mom and I call him tiger, because he screams a lot at people. If something doesn’t get his way he just starts destroying things and hitting people for no reason. My brothers and I hate him a lot, why I don’t understand why mom married him in the first place.

But I don’t care about all that. One thing I want to be when I finish school is became a writer and a pharmacists. I want to write about my personal live, experiences, challenges I did to survive and help others with their problems. So that’s why I join the newspaper club to publish my stories and events. When I get a idea I can never stop writing all the way. You know when you in school a teacher asks you if you were struck in island, what 5 things would you have? Well I would have my laptop to write my stories, books, food, clothes, and a tent to live on. When I was little my mom would call me the bookworm, because of all the reading all around the house. Like I mentioned she is a clean freak, doesn’t like it when books are just laying around. I swear she is one of those housewife in T.V, where they cook, clean and attend book clubs, except my mom works and clean. Sometimes we cook or order food from different kinds of restaurants.

Basically sometimes we do what we like to do. My siblings who thinks life can take you anyway except New York City. Hum……….. Personally I don’t know and I lived in New York about 10 years.


Chapter 2
Eight Grade just sucks….


“Hey Tanzania, are you getting any sleep?” “It seems like your eyes need some repairing to be white.” Ha Ha, very funny or not. Angie always seem to be concerned about everyone she cares about. I can’t believe a Mexican girl like never cursed at someone, never had a boyfriend, seemed to have perfect state test scores. Me, in other hand was studying at 1:00 in the morning for the big test that all the eight graders have to take in October in order to go to a good high school. My plan is going to Bronx Science, if I don’t get into that I am hoping for hunter or Townsend Harris. Everyone seems relaxed, about 30% percent are sleepy, 10% don’t care about the test which is wondering “when will the year end?”, 60 percent relaxed and ready for another boring of school.

“I wondered if the test is harder or easier this year replied David. David, a year younger than me always asking questions about tests. The principal comes out, “Okay you kids, get in inside, chop chop”. Education doesn’t wait for you. Either he is impatient and just wants to eat again replied some eight grade student. Some of the kids sniggered or giggled. “The usual“, said Johnson.