Nothing will be the same ever again

My heart beats as each same time I saw his face and eyes that are looking at me.It scares me a little and gives a chill toward my body, wondering "why I am talking to him"?But as I am talking to him on email, my eyes and my face go into a blank expression when i asked him a question and this way he anwsers it. I get mad and terrifed, so I ingorne him by delting him on email and everything esle I have of him. But my mind can't stop thinking about him, it weakens and weakens. Somehow I lose my focus but gain my thoughts. I go to people thinking confused and wondering what should l do? But then a miracle happens, I don't know how but my friends are there for me and helping me out. I don't feel alone anymore and I know I will make the right choice coming out from my heart.